one of those nights

It's one of those nights in which the fact that I'm moving to the 'burbs really feels like my life is ending. My parents were strict, so I envision arguments, or me, keeping quiet, seething inside. So tonight, when my mom asked me where I went, the you're-just-checking-up-on-me-aren't-you slant to the question was all I could think of. She may truly just have been curious, but whenever she asks about my later-night whereabouts I can't help thinking that she's making sure I wasn't getting drunk or anything. Oh, don't get me wrong, she knows I drink. I've been sick drunk in front of her before and she wasn't mad or anything. Still, I hate that. I'm really not a little girl anymore. But I think that she forgets. I haven't lived at home for YEARS!! God, get over it!!

I love my parents. Soooo very much! Just some nights, I feel suffocated.

Also...who the hell meets people in the 'burbs where you can't even walk to a coffee shop. Well, you can, but it's not like downtown. It'll take at least 15 mins. from my house. I can't call my friends at 10:30 pm and say, "hey, let's go for coffee". If I do, someone will have to take their car and there'll be lots of driving.

Oh, boo hoo. Listen to me rant about such stupid, piddly problems. It's such a fucking small problem!! But if you knew how strict they were and what a good kid I was and still am, and despite this, how they just can't bear not to know where I am, you'd understand.

I take it as a particular insult when I think of how old I am, the things I've been through, the things I've helped people through, and the responsibilities I've had (we're talking lives!!)... GRRRR!!

Ok. I better stop, I'm working myself into an uglier, mangled pit. And also, I think of the people reading this, who, not fully knowing what I'm necessarily worrying about, will not feel an ounce of pity. I don't blame them. But you have NO IDEA! Honestly.