I haven't had inspiration from much lately. And it feels like too much work to find strength from within.
Maybe it's the weather? I'm not entirely sure.
Nothing gets me very excited. I think maybe I expected too much.
Most things are pretty bland lately. I've never been one to get really depressed but I suppose it could start with various triggers. I'm not saying that's where I'm at, but I do wonder why it is that something really feels like it has died in me. It feels like there's a dark place. Like I'm losing someone, some place, that I'll never get back. I hate letting go. It feels like giving up. I hate giving up. I hate just having to accept things that I'm not happy about. "Be true to who you are", they say, but what if being true to who you are doesn't seem to work for you?
I don't think there's anything essentially wrong with me. But there are certain things I cannot do. There are certain things that I cannot change.
And it's just dark and sad, and more often than I have in a while, I feel like crying.
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