so...friends?

Can you really be friends after breaking up?

It's an incredibly strange place to be. Wanting him not to be sad, wanting to offer help, even simply in the form of solidarity of experience, but not being able to. We made the decision before speaking of it, and didn't fight it. For me, it was because I was tired of it and knew it wasn't good for me. We need to deal with this separately, but how do you tell someone you care about that you can't help, because you're going through the very same thing?

I want to tell him he has no idea how hard it's been. Tell him what I'm going through, ask him stuff to get 'the guy's opinion'. But I can't do that. I'd be emotionally depending on him, and making him my friend, which isn't really what he is.

I've come so far, and yet I hear from him, and something implodes in my chest, making me think that I'm not ready at all. But maybe you're never really ready until someone comes along that makes you want to be ready. Maybe 'ready' just means that you're open to someone coming in even if memories still make you tear up. Maybe it's acknowledging that you're still hurt, but you're willing to put that aside because someone very special may come soon. Maybe being ready just means that you allow yourself to feel all the things that come along with a break-up, the good and the bad, and say, "This happened. It still stings on occasion, but I'm not going to hide it because it's part of who I am now." Maybe it's just presenting yourself to someone new, asking him (or her, as the case may be) to see all of you, being willing to have them to get to know the new you, and giving them the opportunity to love you as such because you're ready to do the same.