I have to keep reminding myself, but it's quite nice having my time to myself now. I can do whatever I want. I don't have to keep anybody else's schedule in mind. I don't have to stay up because someone else wants to stay up. It's been a while since I've had the ability to monopolize my time. (Well, I've got jobs, and school work, etc.) If I didn't spend so much time on the internet, I'd do more productive things.
In a way, this is the time to set myself up and be happy because of and for me. I may never have a chance like this again. Here I am, always worrying about passing up a chance to be with someone, when I could be passing up the best time to be with myself. Imagine how strong I'll be and what I'll learn, and how I'll change by allowing myself that time. Right now, it seems like such a great idea! It IS a great idea. Think how much more interesting I'll be and what passions I can cultivate!!
After all, one thing I've learned is that I can only truly count on myself. This sounds rather jaded, but no one really knows when loss is going to hit. So...if I can be happy with myself, I'll always have that. I'll always know what to do if I get hurt again.
This way, I'll be prepared for "the one", because I'll be more independent and not so caught up in the relationship due to fears and insecurities. Or, if I never find "the one", I'll still be satisfied with myself and my relationships with other people, and in the everyday miracles of life.
