This blog's been kinda boring later. Sorry to the very few who actually read it. Thanks, though. I just wanted to know what it would be like to have a blog 'coz so many people have one. If you can imagine, I haven't told anyone I have a blog. I figure I'd just see what comes out of it. Could be good for testing ideas, so feel free to comment. I'm quite a private person, so I don't fill in details. Interpret the way you want, ask questions,whatever.
Another school year is coming to a close and I'm graduating! I'm leaving people behind, some of whom I barely know, especially the new faces this year. I wish I could've known them better and learned their stories. That's my regret for the year. Or, half-regret. I really needed time to regroup after everything that happened last year. So, I took what only I could give myself---more time for me to reflect, cry, crumble, build myself up. I tried hard to be there for everyone, though, and for those who came to me for help or a listening ear, I think I was there. People are truly amazing. Even those much younger than myself. Hearing new ideas and seeing their optimism translated into energy helps me remember that I am capable of so much. I've become afraid to commit. Really, I think I've just needed rest from all the go-go-go activity of early university.
So, another chapter is ending. I realized that so much can happen in a few months, let alone a year! So, much. The gravity of this for me cannot possibly be transcribed. In a way, it makes me think that anything is possible. There have been events that I never thought would happen, or at least not for a very, very long time, that have materialized. This makes the future incredibly exciting. This means that even things I get down about could turn out to be dreams realized in the end.
As far as the love interest goes, for those who wonder about that...
We're still friends. I think things feel comfortable and familiar again. I started corresponding in a more honest way, and I think that at the very least, that has made me feel like some questions and thoughts are out of the way. Sadly, though, not thoughts about my feelings...not directly, anyway. But c'mon, it would take an idiot...or, a very good friend who would never assume anything...not to figure it out. Time will tell, time will tell. You can't rush things or else it won't feel natural. That could spell the end of everything, including friendship.
There's so much that I'm going to miss, so much that I wish I could've done, but, no real regrets (of course, I've just contradicted myself). That's ok, though. If I didn't have the "wish I could've" list, there would be a space in my life. I'm good with having it filled with that.
I wonder who's reading this. Hey, whoever reads this, leave me a comment, a thought, even just a 'hello'. Curious to know, vaguely, who might be taking a look. Do you come here because you sense stuff in common? Just wondering.
Good night all! Very, very tired and out of it tonight. I aim to wake up early to practice. Sweetest of dreams!
