my moment of weakness

Nothing has happened though he's been back for a couple of weeks now. I don't know how much longer I can take this waiting. We're friends. That's obvious. We care. That's obvious. But I can see him being attracted to someone else and then deciding he'd like to try that out instead. I care. I care sooo much. Friends think something will happen. We're obviously really close and special to each other. But what if nothing ever does. I CANNOT just tell him how I feel when I don't have an indication of what he feels. Part of the problem, I think, is that we're both the same in that we're able not to let on about what we really feel. So, basically, we're screwed. Actually, I'm screwed. I know I'm being stubborn. I should be grown up about this. Talk about it with him. But I'm not going to. Besides, if he's interested, and we're alone enough times, won't he eventually do it? It's not like he's never asked anyone out before, so why the hell can't he just ask me out? I hate this. It's this circular maze with no exit. I hate it. Oh, I'm sorry, did I mention I hate this? Did I mention I'm fucked?! I'm starting to think I'm gonna be screwed over again. That I'm feeling a lot for someone, AGAIN, and it won't be returned the same way.

But wait, odd, that just means that you haven't found the right guy.

But he feels like the right guy.

But you got over the other one, you'll get over this one too, and someone special will come your way and it'll be just right.

But I don't want anyone else!!!

You might. You never know who will come along.

I want him to come along.

Uh huh.

And I sit in my room in near-tears.