Teaching Dissonances

I've been really lucky recently. I've had new music opportunities come up that I've never expected, one of which is the opportunity to teach an adult student who has experience in composition, but not much formal training. I gather that this student will not want the usual conservatory style approach with it's emphasis on a canon and technique. It makes me wonder if I'm up to the challenge of organizing a very different form of music teaching --- one that is more collaborative, rather than a top-down, expert-student setup.

And I do think I'm up for it, though I'm a bit scared. What would happen if I were no longer to present myself as The Teacher. To me this signals a loss of control. The potential to be overridden due to some perceived inexperience on my part. I'm okay with being wrong, but if because someone doesn't think I know what I'm talking about, it's a whole other issue. But what's so bad about not knowing, anyway? It would mean that I'm open to possibilities, open to seeing what someone else's exercise of power and authority might be like.

I've always been a quiet person, painfully aware that there is an expectation that I speak and contribute. It has always been a challenge for me to feel that I don't want to speak and yet am being pushed to do so. To not speak has been pinpointed with a negative connotation. I am seen as less assertive, and maybe accepting to the point of submission. I worry that if I abandon the role of The Teacher, that I might be seen as a fraud, rather than as a facilitator.

I suppose that being open only works if the potential "receiver" of openness wants it, and is equally open to something unknown or undetermined.