listless

I kinda feel like I've used that as a title already.

Well, I officially have nothing to complain about. Life is pretty much near-perfect, though not without its everyday small challenges. It has made me realize that there is no reason for me to feel unhappy, no reason for me to lack the energy or any desire to do things.

All this leads me to think that maybe I have a mild case of depression. In the past I always had something to attribute it to. But perhaps I felt more emotional strain because this has always been with me?

You know those little self-diagnosis tests that tell you whether you may be depressed. Well, in the past, I have qualified. I'm still able to push myself to do what I need to do, but in an almost zombie-like manner. I can still put up an act and smile through it all when in front of people.

I can't seem to match B's enthusiasm sometimes, and I feel terrible. I must be somewhat difficult to cheer up right now.

Or maybe it's just a case of the blahs due to the shortened daylight hours. I don't know. I'm just surprised by this little discovery that I still feel down when I have no rational reason to feel that way. Moods are moods, but this has been going on for at least 3 weeks now.

I'm still hoping I can fight it off. We'll see.