Just a little something I took while on the train last summer.

I've been relishing a couple of days off. I've cleaned my place completely...talk about a tiring task!

I've been rather content, actually. I spent some time with my family and a lot of time by myself. I find that I'm not even thinking about him and we've been really comfortable around each other lately. I see and feel glimpses of the way we were a long time ago.

I feel as though I'm getting to the last stages of having the door open. My arm's getting tired. No, that's not it. More like I've got other things to do, so if he wants to come in, he'll just have to open the door...before I lock it, that is. Otherwise, he'll have to knock, and if I'm having a party, I may not hear him. This is a good thing! But I can't stand the thought of him not being there for the rest of my life. I'm worried that having people between us, i.e other people we become emotionally involved with, will eventually lead us to drift apart. I've been scared of this for a while and nothing has come of it, so perhaps this won't even come to pass. I'm really quite happy with the way our friendship is right now.

Mostly, I find that I can't even bring myself to think about him. There's nothing more to think and nothing more to say. Part of the reason, I think, is because I know I can still count on him to be there for me. I've come to realize that I really, really needed to know that. Maybe I was afraid all along that all this will end our friendship. I had to do a lot of self-convincing.

I've been feeling a deeper sense of calm than I've known in a while and as a result, I even have creative urges coming through naturally once again.

It's all very exciting for me...a taste of that feeling I usually only get in the spring. Could it be that I'm actually starting to experience happiness with myself? Oh my!!

Lovin' it.