somewhat stable

Wow! It's been a while since I've posted.

Don't know why.  Just haven't felt like writing.  Partly, I'm really busy.  I'm moving from this apartment soon.  Oddly enough, I'm getting used to the thought of this chapter of my life ending.  I used to have a really bleak outlook on what life is going to be like after this.  Thing is, I've decided to move back to my parents' place for a year.  Yikes!!  But it shouldn't be that bad.  My life as I know it will only end if I allow it to.  My friends are kind of scared for me (those who understand how strict my parents were).  Others in my family have assured me, however, that that's all in the past.  I think I'm ready to brave whatever arguments come my way. 

A number of thoughts have caused this.  I need to save money, for one thing, especially if I plan on pursuing a Master's.  I figure, too, that I can rent a better apartment the year after.  I also feel like I need to help my family out,  allowing my brothers to live a bit more independently.  It's their turn. 

There's also the thought that my parents are getting older and I've spent years away from home.  Perhaps this will be the last time I'll be spending a longer stretch of time with them.  I know they're really happy to have me home, though only for a year.  I'll see them smile, laugh, argue, and can kiss them good night every night like I used to.  That'll be good.  It's one of those things that I know I'll cherish when they're no longer as strong as they are, and most especially when they pass away.  They have YEARS before that will happen.  They're not that old.  But once in a while, I get that lump in my throat when death flashes its dark grin at me.

I have a good friend who reminds me that friends move away, but in the end are always there and kind of do come back to each other.  You know how it is...you won't talk for a while, then you find yourselves closer than you ever were.  Incidentally, I've noticed that certain friends are closer at different times in my life.

Moving sure will be a pain, though.  And I'm not too deluded to think that I won't feel like my independence has been compromised.  That's life for you.  I'm taking a deep breath and taking what comes.  Who knows, I could be mere weeks away from something wonderfully unexpected.  But then again, it could be years.

Good night!