Or is this the smarter thing to do. Am I simply listening to my body and actually heeding what's going on before I plunge back into anxiety? I'm telling myself this is the case, because somehow this makes it okay to back out of the day for now.
I've been thinking so much...about teaching - Am I doing well? How does my colleague see me? How do I earn respect of parents? About the wedding - gotta get those invitations out! About my courses - must keep up, must read and think about a thesis, must meet with that prof. About my own repertoire - Am I done performing? Am I still cut out for that? I get nervous in front of crowds. Am I a good accompanist? I don't ever conclude negatively in answer to these questions. I think I've learned to be honest and accepting, pinpointing the strengths and the weaknesses. I think this takes work for me, and a conscious effort not to plunge into extremes of thought and emotion. The result is a tiredness. I'm not physically ill, and I'm mentally tired.
Surely, that has to be a good reason to take a break.
